A few months ago I wrote a post about being single in your
late 20’s and how it’s really not bad at all.
Now that I have recently been out of the single game and am in a
relationship I want to say that I STILL stand by that post (and no it’s not
because I’m unhappy, I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been hehe). I had a few unpleasant reactions to that post
because I think people misunderstood what my point was. It wasn’t to say that relationships suck and
that I’m anti love, NOT. AT. ALL. I was
just trying to let everyone who reads my blog know that it’s OK to be single in
your late 20’s. A few of my friends were
just talking about that topic and I decided to write about it. So, where am I going with this do you
ask? I want to write a response blog
post to myself (yes you read that right) on being in a relationship but not
settling for one, hence why being single isn’t really bad. I’d rather be single than settle.
late 20’s and how it’s really not bad at all.
Now that I have recently been out of the single game and am in a
relationship I want to say that I STILL stand by that post (and no it’s not
because I’m unhappy, I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been hehe). I had a few unpleasant reactions to that post
because I think people misunderstood what my point was. It wasn’t to say that relationships suck and
that I’m anti love, NOT. AT. ALL. I was
just trying to let everyone who reads my blog know that it’s OK to be single in
your late 20’s. A few of my friends were
just talking about that topic and I decided to write about it. So, where am I going with this do you
ask? I want to write a response blog
post to myself (yes you read that right) on being in a relationship but not
settling for one, hence why being single isn’t really bad. I’d rather be single than settle.
To give a little background story about what’s going on in
my life with my new relationship, I’ve known him for 8.5 years and timing was
never on our side until a few months ago.
We started talking, then we started hanging out again, and before we
both knew it, BAM we were in a relationship (Facebook official and everything
lol). Now I am a tough girl to impress
especially when it comes to relationships.
I’ve been through quite a bit with bad relationships so I will say, I was
definitely skeptical at first. I think
that’s why I go more for simple things and I cannot and I repeat CANNOT do
complicated. That whole option on
Facebook where you can actually tell the world it’s complicated just blows my
mind. Either you’re in a relationship or
you’re not. Now, I understand there are
certain circumstances where it most definitely is complicated but when you’re
in your late 20’s and you’ve already had your fair share of drama llama
relationships, things like “it’s complicated” just don’t fly, at least for me. After being single for over two years and
striking out with every guy I dated (yes there’s a difference between a
relationship and dating) I reconnected with the boyfriend I have now. I think the reason why timing was on our side
this time was because I wasn’t settling for an ex or a guy who I thought was
into me but really wasn’t, I finally went against every guy I ever dated. I finally met an amazing guy, who does
surprise me with thoughtful gifts instead of making me pay for everything. I finally DIDN’T date the bad boy. You always end up with the same thing, a
broken heart and a bitter soul (at least for a few months) if you date that
kind of guy.
my life with my new relationship, I’ve known him for 8.5 years and timing was
never on our side until a few months ago.
We started talking, then we started hanging out again, and before we
both knew it, BAM we were in a relationship (Facebook official and everything
lol). Now I am a tough girl to impress
especially when it comes to relationships.
I’ve been through quite a bit with bad relationships so I will say, I was
definitely skeptical at first. I think
that’s why I go more for simple things and I cannot and I repeat CANNOT do
complicated. That whole option on
Facebook where you can actually tell the world it’s complicated just blows my
mind. Either you’re in a relationship or
you’re not. Now, I understand there are
certain circumstances where it most definitely is complicated but when you’re
in your late 20’s and you’ve already had your fair share of drama llama
relationships, things like “it’s complicated” just don’t fly, at least for me. After being single for over two years and
striking out with every guy I dated (yes there’s a difference between a
relationship and dating) I reconnected with the boyfriend I have now. I think the reason why timing was on our side
this time was because I wasn’t settling for an ex or a guy who I thought was
into me but really wasn’t, I finally went against every guy I ever dated. I finally met an amazing guy, who does
surprise me with thoughtful gifts instead of making me pay for everything. I finally DIDN’T date the bad boy. You always end up with the same thing, a
broken heart and a bitter soul (at least for a few months) if you date that
kind of guy.
So in response to my blog post I wanted to write 5 reasons
why you shouldn’t settle and why it’ll help you find that one guy.
why you shouldn’t settle and why it’ll help you find that one guy.
1. What’s in it for you in the long run?
Well, if you meet the typical bad boy, absolutely
nothing. You can think you can change
him all you want but your chances are slim to none. In my opinion if you have to work on liking
him or wanting to be with him you have a problem. With me I have to instantly feel a
connection, or there have to be some kind of butterflies. If I don’t feel this at all or if I don’t
smile when I see a text from this special someone then I don’t pursue it. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a burden
or a chore. A relationship should be
your partner in your crime, your best friend, your ride or die, your biggest
supporter. When you meet a guy of course
you don’t have to start thinking about marriage and settling down right away
but just think of yourself 5 years down the line, will you still be happy?
nothing. You can think you can change
him all you want but your chances are slim to none. In my opinion if you have to work on liking
him or wanting to be with him you have a problem. With me I have to instantly feel a
connection, or there have to be some kind of butterflies. If I don’t feel this at all or if I don’t
smile when I see a text from this special someone then I don’t pursue it. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a burden
or a chore. A relationship should be
your partner in your crime, your best friend, your ride or die, your biggest
supporter. When you meet a guy of course
you don’t have to start thinking about marriage and settling down right away
but just think of yourself 5 years down the line, will you still be happy?
2. You’re still young, but not young enough to make mistakes
Ok, so being in your late 20’s is definitely fun but it has
its cons too. You’re still young, but
you always have to be a responsible adult.
You can’t go out on a Wednesday night and stay out until 5 in the
morning and roll into work with just a change of clothes on. At least not for me because I work in an
office and appearance is a huge thing.
Plus, at my age I’m tired, too tired to even go out on the weekends so
my weekdays are like school nights, I go home after work and that’s it. When it comes to relationships I kept on
telling myself that because I’m striking out it can mean I’ll be single forever
but at the same time I wasn’t about to settle.
I wasn’t going to settle for someone who I could only see myself dating
for the time being. I wasn’t looking for
Mr. Right Now, I was looking for Mr. Right.
The reason being because what if I did settle for one of the previous
guys I went out on dates with and I missed my chance with my boyfriend
now. Once you get older you start to
plan more and you start to look more into the future.
its cons too. You’re still young, but
you always have to be a responsible adult.
You can’t go out on a Wednesday night and stay out until 5 in the
morning and roll into work with just a change of clothes on. At least not for me because I work in an
office and appearance is a huge thing.
Plus, at my age I’m tired, too tired to even go out on the weekends so
my weekdays are like school nights, I go home after work and that’s it. When it comes to relationships I kept on
telling myself that because I’m striking out it can mean I’ll be single forever
but at the same time I wasn’t about to settle.
I wasn’t going to settle for someone who I could only see myself dating
for the time being. I wasn’t looking for
Mr. Right Now, I was looking for Mr. Right.
The reason being because what if I did settle for one of the previous
guys I went out on dates with and I missed my chance with my boyfriend
now. Once you get older you start to
plan more and you start to look more into the future.
3. Happiness
One of my main focuses in life is my happiness. Yes, I’m selfish, but I haven’t been selfish for
most of my life. I need to make sure I
am happy doing what I am doing. Life is
seriously too short to be unhappy. Each
day is a new beginning and each day is a blessing. I live by this.
most of my life. I need to make sure I
am happy doing what I am doing. Life is
seriously too short to be unhappy. Each
day is a new beginning and each day is a blessing. I live by this.
With relationships you have to make sure you’re happy. If you’re just in it because you can’t find
anyone else you won’t be happy in the future.
You’ll have regrets and a life full of what if’s. If your heart isn’t fully invested then maybe
it’s time to move on. Don’t be afraid of
being single because you never know that’s what might make you the
happiest. Just don’t settle thinking you
can work on being happy.
anyone else you won’t be happy in the future.
You’ll have regrets and a life full of what if’s. If your heart isn’t fully invested then maybe
it’s time to move on. Don’t be afraid of
being single because you never know that’s what might make you the
happiest. Just don’t settle thinking you
can work on being happy.
4. Sacrifice
In my current relationship we haven’t really made any
sacrifices because both of us are home bodies and he doesn’t mind if I blog or
bring my jewelry making tools. However
some people expect you to sacrifice certain things about your life when you get
into a relationship. When you settle for
a relationship you may be forced to make sacrifices if the person doesn’t
support your current life. I’m not
saying dump the guy you’re dating because he won’t let you go out with the
girls and go home with another guy (I really hope no one thought this is what I
was implying haha) because that’s NOT what I’m getting at. I mean that if you have something you’re
proud of (for example how I’m proud of this blog or my business) and he can’t
be proud with you then he’s not worth it.
My boyfriend now is so extremely supportive of my blog and my etsy shop
and he’s so understanding when I say “I have to stay home tonight because I
have to blog.” He knows that I am an
independent person and that I won’t stop doing what I’m doing just because we
are in a relationship and he gets the same treatment. He’s the first boyfriend who’s been so
supportive of everything I’m doing and he’s genuine about it. That’s why don’t settle for someone who’s
going to make you sacrifice the things you love, unless you’re willing to make
these sacrifices. That’s the first sign
of a controlling person. This goes for
both guys and girls.
sacrifices because both of us are home bodies and he doesn’t mind if I blog or
bring my jewelry making tools. However
some people expect you to sacrifice certain things about your life when you get
into a relationship. When you settle for
a relationship you may be forced to make sacrifices if the person doesn’t
support your current life. I’m not
saying dump the guy you’re dating because he won’t let you go out with the
girls and go home with another guy (I really hope no one thought this is what I
was implying haha) because that’s NOT what I’m getting at. I mean that if you have something you’re
proud of (for example how I’m proud of this blog or my business) and he can’t
be proud with you then he’s not worth it.
My boyfriend now is so extremely supportive of my blog and my etsy shop
and he’s so understanding when I say “I have to stay home tonight because I
have to blog.” He knows that I am an
independent person and that I won’t stop doing what I’m doing just because we
are in a relationship and he gets the same treatment. He’s the first boyfriend who’s been so
supportive of everything I’m doing and he’s genuine about it. That’s why don’t settle for someone who’s
going to make you sacrifice the things you love, unless you’re willing to make
these sacrifices. That’s the first sign
of a controlling person. This goes for
both guys and girls.
5. Sharing is Caring
You want to make sure that when you do find that amazing
relationship that you are willing to share.
Sharing the blanket, sharing secrets, sharing thoughts, and if one of
you is sick, sharing germs. You don’t
want to settle for someone who isn’t willing to share, especially when it comes
to sharing thoughts and ideas. If you
don’t feel comfortable enough then I think you have a major issue.
relationship that you are willing to share.
Sharing the blanket, sharing secrets, sharing thoughts, and if one of
you is sick, sharing germs. You don’t
want to settle for someone who isn’t willing to share, especially when it comes
to sharing thoughts and ideas. If you
don’t feel comfortable enough then I think you have a major issue.
If I would’ve settled for any of the previous guys I met and
dated over the past 2 years I wouldn’t have been happy right now. There was always some kind of gut feeling
about the guy that he’s just not the lasting relationship type. With the new guy it was an instant spark and
that’s what I wanted, I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than that
spark. Like I said in the beginning of
this post I stand behind my original post 110% of how being single in your late
20’s isnt’ bad because it taught me to stand on my own. I could barely take care of myself and
bringing someone into my life would have just messed it all up for me if I
would’ve settled for just a guy because I was lonely. I needed someone who was going to respect my
independence and strength that I gained while being single. I needed to know that the guy I was going to
be in a relationship with wouldn’t be a waste of time. I don’t know what the future holds for me but
so far, so good.
dated over the past 2 years I wouldn’t have been happy right now. There was always some kind of gut feeling
about the guy that he’s just not the lasting relationship type. With the new guy it was an instant spark and
that’s what I wanted, I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than that
spark. Like I said in the beginning of
this post I stand behind my original post 110% of how being single in your late
20’s isnt’ bad because it taught me to stand on my own. I could barely take care of myself and
bringing someone into my life would have just messed it all up for me if I
would’ve settled for just a guy because I was lonely. I needed someone who was going to respect my
independence and strength that I gained while being single. I needed to know that the guy I was going to
be in a relationship with wouldn’t be a waste of time. I don’t know what the future holds for me but
so far, so good.
Oh, and if you’re single or in a relationship two amazing books to read that truly helped me relationship wise are He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
and The Single Girl’s Manifesta: Living in a Stupendously Superior Single State of Mind
. Trust me, these are must reads! You can click on either of those titles to be directed to the actual book!
. Trust me, these are must reads! You can click on either of those titles to be directed to the actual book!
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