Love Yourself and a Link Up!


Dress:  Burberry // Necklace and Small Bangle:  Rocksbox // Big Bangles:  Lilly In Pink // Clutch:  Ralph Lauren // Shoes:  Gucci 
There have been a few times on this blog where I’ve gotten
kind of personal with things.  Today I
wanted to talk about something that I think most women struggle with; weight
insecurities.  I know what you’re
thinking, you’ve already heard this a bazillion times before.  I really wanted to stop and talk a little bit
about it so people could understand where women are coming from with this and
how I’ve been working on loving myself and my body.  Don’t worry this post will NOT bash any body
size because I believe that no matter how big or small you are you always have
something you would definitely point out. 
I’ve talked to a few skinny ladies and they have told me how they wish
they had bigger hips and a fuller butt, you know, that sort of thing.
As most of you know I’m not on the skinny spectrum, I’m kind
of average but towards the lighter side of average.  I’ve struggled with my appearance based on
weight for a very long time.  Growing up
I was never the skinny girl who could eat as much as she wanted and still stay
at a size 00.  I’ve always needed to
watch my intake, and at times I was a little too obsessive over it.  I’ve lost weight the unhealthy and healthy
way.  The first time I was ever called
curvy (two years ago)I was taken by surprise. 
I never considered myself curvy. 
I thought I was a normal size, more athletic than curvy.  I took it as being called fat but in a nicer
version.  I also later discovered that
this person’s definition of curvy was any girl over the size of a 4, I’m an
8/10 for those of you who are wondering.
So, what brought on this discussion?  You see that picture above?  There’s a roll that has been left there but
slightly edited.  For some reason my
camera makes me look extremely short and bigger than I am. 
I’m DEFINITELY not short, and I’m DEFINITELY not that size in real life,
and no I’m not in denial.  Well, I got
extremely upset when I saw that roll.  I
know, it’s a roll a lot of women have, and it was just a bad angle because you
bent over, just get over it.  It was almost
as if it struck something inside of me that in that moment I got so upset that
I didn’t even want to look at myself anymore. 

In my opinion it’s harder to be a fashion blogger who has a
little extra fluff on her.  A skinnier
girl can wear a potatoe sack and make it work because it’s like dressing a
model.  You really have to know how to
dress yourself so that you accentuate everything good and cover up all of the
bad.  I have no problem with my bottom
half, I love my butt and I love my “thunder thighs” as someone called them once
even though they’re really not.  It’s the
top half I don’t know how to work with due to my stomach and arms. 
I came across a plus size blogger the other day and regained
my little bit of confidence and love for myself when I saw her owning her
curves.  You can tell that she has so
much confidence and she is fierce.  Then
I started to think about my little outburst of unnecessary sadness the other
day.  Why was I upset?  Girl you have to own every inch of your body
regardless if you have a little extra around the edges.  You need to be a role model to other women
who are in the same mindset or even help someone who struggles with an eating
disorder.  That is a serious thing that I
don’t think should ever be taken lightly. 
Have you seen what an eating disorder does to a person?  It’s horrible and I feel for those women AND
men because it happens to both.
Ok, so now that I babbled on forever, how do I deal with my
insecurities?  That’s a really tough
question, because I’m not entirely out of the water yet.  The first time I ever came to terms with
being “plus size” in the fashion industry is when I was seriously deciding on becoming
a model.  Then when I looked at all of
the size requirements and found out I’d be considered plus size I said
absolutely not.  A woman at my size is
NOT plus size.  I wouldn’t want to be
that type of role model to other people. 
So many people have told me to try and be a model because I’m tall
enough and have “legs for days” but I won’t do it.  I’m happy with my blog and being a “model”
here in my own little corner of cyber world.
After this mini revelation the other day (which I don’t know
why I needed it honestly because I’ve been happy with my “curves” for quite
some time, not sure why that picture made me upset)I sat down and thought about
it.  How am I supposed to be happy if I
can’t love myself?  Not in a narcissistic
way either folks, I’m talking about loving your body and the flaws that we
focus on.  I’ve been called fat and a big
girl plenty of times and you have to learn to ignore it.  Just like when someone tells a skinny girl to
go eat a burger.  Most of the time that
girl is probably eating 10 burgers a day so she can have some kind of curve to
her body.  You just have to look at
yourself in the mirror and say you are good enough.  When you shop don’t look at the sizes, look
at what looks GOOD on YOU. 
To the roll in the picture that tried to ruin my happiness
with myself, go step on some legos.  No
one wants you around anymore!
If you’ve read all the way up to this point, thank you, I
know it was a long read!

Please read the rules for linking up!  Thank you!

       An InLinkz Link-up


16 thoughts on “Love Yourself and a Link Up!”

  1. Thanks so much for sharing. We all feel insecure about our bodies, and the older you get, the harder it gets because then your not just considering your weight, but the issues that aging has on your body as well. The main reason I started doing fashion posts on my blog was because I couldn't find fashion pictures of older women on the internet who didn't dress 'old'. So I thought, I might as well lead the way. Love your dress by the way, that style and color looks gorgeous on you!

  2. This is my first time ever visiting your blog from Pampers and Pearls. And I read your post today, and just wanted to offer some support in saying to you that you are beautiful, just as you are! I see no fluff, and definitely no thunder thighs! The world is so full of haters, I have experienced it too.

  3. I love this blue color on you, and you have a face that can carry off short and long hair! Love it. I read your post and I understand, I think it about getting to a point in one's life where one is happy with themselves. I could go on,but my arm is killing me fromtendonitis. You look lovely in this dress!
    xx jess
    thanks for hosting!

  4. Love that dress: the vivid shade of blue, the font buttons, the flouncy skirt – all of it is perfect. On top of ypu chose the perfect pretty jewels for it, Monica. Pleasure linking up as usual. =)

  5. Girl if you have thunder thighs I have hippo thighs and I'm short Lolol you are beautiful and any imperfections only you are not ok with you can work on them to make you feel good but don't beat yourself up over everyone else's expectations! Know you are gorgeous, great personality and own that shit! Even when the "fashion industry" labels you .. You can tell them to suck it! Know your assets and use them.. Because we all have something that brings out our true beauty 😉

  6. Let me say this my dear…I noticed no "roll" when I looked at your pictures. In fact, I had to scroll back up, take a look again, and then I wasn't even sure that I found what you called a "roll". That being said, I can relate. Since I was 16, the smallest I've ever been was a 6. I'm now pushing 16. I'm not happy with my current size, but I work at not allowing self-hatred to creep in (although it certainly tries to). I think you look fantabulous!

  7. Beautiful post, Monica!! Tell it sister! But seriously, I always appreciate when people talk about this subject because it really is something that effects all women. I've found that although not everybody has an eating disorder, more women than not have disordered thinking or behaviors. It seems to be accepted by our culture and I just hate that!! It takes strong women who speak out, like you, to really make a change for the better.

    The Closet by Christie

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