About two weekends ago I met with my girl Shelbee on the Edge. We’ve been following one another for some time now (she also sent me some goodies which I will post on the blog soon) and on one of my recent posts (here) she had commented that she thinks we would have an interesting conversation if we ever got a chance to meet up for coffee. Well, it just so happened that a few weekends ago she was close enough for us to meet half way. So, we decided to meet up for coffee and have the conversation that we both knew would be interesting.
We talked for 4 hours, and didn’t even realize it.
We decided to meet in Clinton, NJ. Now, this may be a small town, but it’s such a cute and quaint town. The Red Mill is a historic mill/museum. It’s such a beautiful location, filled with little stores and coffee shops. There is street parking, but never fear, they have public parking lots, you just have to walk a little bit. Citispot was the café we chose to go to. When we first met each other we started talking and finally Shelbee was the one that said we should probably order something haha, neither of us wanted to get kicked out for sitting there and not ordering. Once we got our coffees we sat down and just talked.
Since we are both interested in psychology, and she knows NJ very well, we had a lot to talk about. I had such an interesting conversation with her. I haven’t had such a great conversation with someone like that (besides a few who are closest to me) in such a long time. It was absolutely refreshing. Afterwards we did a blog photo shoot. You can see Shelbee’s outfit here. I love that her and I were able to connect and build a friendship. She’s a very interesting person, and I really hope to see her again.
Now, I wanted to talk about why building relationships with bloggers is important. Keep reading for more!
Only they know how it feels
Only bloggers understand what other bloggers are going through. I can tell my friend that the new Instagram algorithm (from months ago) sucks, and they might not care, but for me it’s different. My Instagram isn’t a personal account, it’s a business account. I depend on that engagement and traffic (not fully, obviously, but a lot of brands focus a lot on Instagram nowadays). When you are working really hard on your blog and not generating traffic and you’re thinking of throwing the towel in (I’m guilty of this lol and my blogger friend Ellen helped me snap out of it), you have someone to talk to, who knows what you’re feeling. Unless you know me and know what goes into creating a blog, you think that I’m just narcissistic because I’m taking pictures of myself and posting it on the internet. You don’t know that Sundays (from 10am-sometimes 8pm) are designated to driving to photo shoot locations, then the actual photo shoot itself, editing, and sometimes even preparing posts. I don’t have someone who does this, I do everything on my own and my fiancé takes my photos. You don’t know how much research goes into looking for the perfect spot (even though I’ve been slacking lately). One day I spent an entire day researching multiple spots, only to get there and not like it. You don’t know how uncomfortable it can be if people are starring at you while you pose for the camera. Although, one time I did have a couple ask if I was a model, and they asked to take a picture with me haha. You don’t know what it’s like to come home only to see your pictures on the computer and think, wow I can’t use any of these because what you envisioned is not what you produced. You don’t know the time it takes to schedule posts, create sponsored posts, then share those on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. You don’t know the amount of money that goes into blogging (at your expense) and how many countless hours I’ve spent learning HTML. That’s why having someone to vent to who knows EXACTLY what you’re going through, is a great thing.
New Friend
I was never one who made friends easily. I still remember my first friend from when I was younger (her name was Vanessa). She’s the only person I ever seemed to just click with. When we moved, I lost contact with her and I had to make new friends. I’m a very shy person (believe it or not) and my first experience was being made fun of. I was a child who didn’t understand why kids could be so cruel. I’ve had a few friendships in my life that I thought would be lifelong friendships, but I was proved wrong when they showed their true colors, or we just grew apart. I was always the third wheel in friendships. Maybe it was because I was reserved and shy and too nice for my own good, not to mention, I’m an introvert. Maybe it was because I was different. I feel like I connect more with bloggers than anyone else. This may also be because I’m older and I know how to communicate better.
Build a Community
At one point I was organizing blogger meetups in the city and I met such a great group of women. Each of them were so inspiring and empowering in so many ways. It’s important to build a community, because trust me, there are bloggers out there who are not nice. Out of all the bloggers I have met, 2 of them were not as nice as they come off in their blog. They were acting as if they were a celebrity who didn’t think you deserved their time. This happens in real life too, but having a group of strong women is always a plus. If you’re wondering why I stopped these meetups, it’s because it was a lot of work. I do wish that one day I could organize another meetup like this, because it was fun for sure.
Learn new things (both in life and the blogging world)
From the bloggers that I have met and gotten close with, I’ve learned so much from them. I’ve learned not only about blogging, but about life in general. When you meet bloggers, you meet women from all over and from different backgrounds. You are able to learn about other aspects of life and other thoughts and ideas. I love when people have opposing opinions, because I love to hear about how they got to that thought process. Even if we may disagree, I love to hear how a different brain thinks.
Support
You have a support system. You have bloggers cheering you on. From my experience more times than not, I have empowering women backing me up. I have bloggers that I know I can count on. As I said in my previous topic, you have bloggers from different backgrounds, so sometimes you can ask for their support on things like HTML, or topics for your blog, guest posts, etc. If you’re courageous enough, you can even ask them what they honestly thought of a post you published.
I think nowadays I have more blogger friends than regular friends. It might be because I’m an introvert and don’t really come out of my home unless it’s really necessary lol. I know that I’m very bad at keeping in touch with people because by the end of the day, I’m tired, and my brain is fried, and having a conversation seems like such a big task. I know that is very terrible of me, but I’m just being honest. My friends also don’t understand my blogging life. They will ask me about it, but I can tell they aren’t interested once I really start talking about it. That’s totally understandable too, because they don’t blog and they don’t know the feeling of accomplishment I get from blogging. This blog is my baby, and it’s the one thing I’ve actually stuck to for a long time. Sure I wish I had a larger following after 5 years, but I still love to come here and create more. This is where I have a voice. I’m timid in real life, so being able to get my thoughts and ideas is harder in real life than it is on this blog.
Don’t forget to check out Shelbee’s post today too! Keep scrolling for her weekly linkup.
xoxo Monica
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Aw, Monica! This is such a great post! You are so sweet. I legitimately had so much fun hanging out with you! We definitely need to do it again. All of your reasons why blogger friendships are important are so, so good, too! I hear you on all of it. And that picture of your strutting it on the bridge just gave me the biggest smile ever! I absolutely love it! You are so pretty!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
I had so much fun, I honestly cannot wait until next time! Too bad we don’t live closer, but as you said in your text, it may also be a good thing because we would cause too much trouble haha!
Okay, so I was preparing my post for this week’s link up and I had to laugh because this post was the most clicked! So I will be sharing it again on Tuesday as one of my featured posts!
Thanks again for joining me!
Shelbee
Girl, this post blew up for me too haha!!! I guess people love us together 🙂
Popping over from Shelbee’s blog!! It’s so fabulous that you two were able to meet in person. I think actually meeting some of these women in person, is truly a great way to connect. But you’re right. Not everyone is nice. Just like in life around the neighborhood!!
But those bloggers who reply to your comments and visit your blog back are the great ones!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I totally agree with you! I love meeting bloggers, because the rest of the bloggers just get it. No one will eve understand how much goes into blogging unless you actually do it yourself.
How lovely that you two got to meet up! I love blogger meet ups, they’re so much fun. Nobody understands our aspirations and frustrations like a fellow blogger. The times I’ve done a ton of photos only to be disappointed when I see them on the laptop.
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
You’re definitely right! Girl, the struggle is real when it comes to bad photos!
Any friend of Shelbee’s is a friend of mine! The shots that you took of each other are beautiful! I am so like you in regard to friendships. I do have real life friends who I love to pieces, but as awful as it sounds, oftentimes at the end of the day I just don’t have the energy to leave the house and hang out…I’ve met so many fabulous women through blogging and again, you’re right, we get each other…the ins and outs, the struggles and the joys of blogging. I’ll definitely be following you now, I’m about to track you down on Instagram too…lol!
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
Aww thank you! I’m following you back 🙂 I seriously love your hair! it doesn’t sound awful, because I’m the same way. After a long day at work or running errands, it’s just hard.
Such an amazing location for a photo shoot and so fun to be meeting up with a blogger friend IRL. Agree, that truly only other bloggers appreciate the time and effort that go into posts, promoting them, etc. Blogger babes (and +1s) are the BEST.
Yes, totally agree! And thank you, it really was a beautiful spot.
First, LOVE your outfits.
Next, what you wrote about building a community and support system is so true. I have found bloggers to be generous and welcoming. I have only been blogging less than a year, but I have “met” some amazing people (never in person, though).
Thank you! It’s hard to be able to meet bloggers because we are so scattered throughout the world.
I enjoyed reading this post because what you said is true and hit home. I haven’t been in the blogosphere all that long but I feel like I can connect with more bloggers than real life folks! I suppose it’s because we share the same desire to blog and have a voice. I love that the blogging community is so welcoming and it makes me feel at home.
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
I would love to meet you one day! You’re always so kind on my blog and you read through my posts (which I know are super lengthy at times haha).
I always read your posts too Monica. Mine are lengthy oftentimes too. Also, my ‘rule’ is that if I comment a blog post, I MUST READ IT! And I agree Maureen is super sweet!
Thank you Ada 🙂
This is such a neat post. Being able to meet a fellow blogger that you’ve connected with would really me an amazing experience. The bloggers I have contact with seem just amazing! Sounds like you two had an amazing time together!
http://www.mylittlenest.org
Yes, I totally agree. Hopefully one day I can meet you too!
What a great post about the importance of blogger friends – I totally agree with all your points! My IRL friends are great but most of them don’t really “get” the whole blogging thing…and I can see their eyes start to glaze over when I talk about page views or getting mentioned somewhere online…things that mean something to ME, but not so much to them.
Like some of the others above, I came here from Shelbee’s blog, but I’ll definitely be back.
ps – I’m obsessed with black and white stripes and LOVE your darling skirt!!!
pps – what is your new camera, the pictures are gorgeous!
Bettye
https://fashionschlub.com
I honestly don’t even really talk about my blog anymore unless it’s my SO or my mom haha. No one really gets it.
I so loved reading this post and appreciate it. I have met 3 Michigan bloggers in real life and loved all those meet-ups, Unfortunately two of them don’t blog anymore and one does it very rarely. But it is great to build friendships with other bloggers. Like you, I have more blogging friends than real-life ones. My cousins, family members and real-life friends don’t get the whole blogging thing, some scold me and judge me for it – being honest – and truly don’t get how passionate I am about it. Like you, I am on my own as far as the blog goes but I am busier and don’t have time to scoop up pretty areas to shoot in. Anyway, both you and Shelbee are two of my dearest and closest blogger friends and I am truly happy you both met and connected too. Great photos and outfits came out of this meet-up, too. 😉
Welcome join my Tuesdays monthly linkup. It is the last Tuesday of every month, also join my Thursday Moda every week and share your beautiful style, Thanks!! =)) Ada.
http://eleganceandmommyhood.blogspot.com/2018/07/skirtmas-in-july-day-12-thats-wrap.html
I’ve been judged for it as well. I’ve met quite a few bloggers, but I’m also near NYC so that’s a lot easier. Some have fallen off the bandwagon, but they still get it, and can talk to them whenever I want about blogging tips, or just having a conversation in general.
HOORAY!!!! I love hearing this! Blogging is a hard and strange world and it’s so nice to have others that understand! I love that you two got to meet in person! I haven’t found anyone in my hometown that really blogs full time- but I have a slew of ladies in Kansas City and Oklahoma that get it! So happy that you got this chance to connect with another blogger!
-Adriele
StyleAssisted.com
It really is a strange world haha. I don’t have anyone in my hometown either, but do live closer to NYC so that makes it easier, for sure.