My Dream Job Turned Into My Worst Nightmare & a Linkup

Corset:  Believe it or not, this is from a Lingerie store, but it was too cute to pass up as a regular top haha! // Pants:  Old Navy // Shoes:  Doc Marten’s sold out (similar here, here, here, here, and here)

As many of you may know, back in April I talked about how I landed my dream job in this post.  The excitement I had for landing this job was out of this world.  When I interviewed with one of the owners, she sounded so amazing.  The passion she had for her company and the positive things she said about her employees, even those who quit made it sound like she was the perfect boss, and that I would absolutely love this job.  Her and her husband’s story was incredible and it was a true American dream.  I thought that it would be a job that I would stick with and grow within the company.

I. Was. Wrong.

I was let go a month ago.  I was debating on whether or not I wanted to write this post, but a few of you have been asking me how my dream job is, so I wanted to let y’all know what’s been going on.  In the 8 weeks I worked there, my mental health had declined severely.  I’m the type of person who gets walked all over in jobs because I go above and beyond and don’t stick up for myself, so I never receive recognition for the work that I have done.  I told myself that this job would be different.  That little pep talk quickly depleted when I saw who my boss really was on day 2.  Let’s rewind and talk about this whole thing from the very beginning.

Flashback to the Beginning

I was interviewing for two jobs, the one I talked about in a previous post and this job.  I found out that the other job which offered a higher salary was really shitty and ended up quitting and called my “dream job” to ask if they had filled the position.  They didn’t.  I was ecstatic.  The one owner was so nice and humble in the interview and she talked about how her and her husband started the business and it was because of the passion and drive that they both had.  They fulfilled the American Dream.  It was such a romantic and amazing story.  It reminded me of my parents, and how they came to the US for the same reasons; to fulfill the American Dream.  I was truly inspired.  For someone to go through something like that, they must be a very grateful human being, like my parents.  That is, if they aren’t on a power trip.  This was your typical female in power that give the rest of women in business a bad name.  I will say though, after thinking about it, I think she’s all bark and no bite.

Expected to use my own equipment.

While I was in the interview process, I told the owner that I would be able to use my photography skills (read this post about my photography business) to redo their photos.  Now, I was under the impression that either they had a camera, or would purchase one for the Marketing Department.  I guess they expected me to use my own camera.  If you are a photographer, you know that this is a huge request in itself.  Which is why I only took a few pictures in the beginning and then decided that I’m not going to be doing that.  Why should I use my own equipment and have it’s value depreciate for something I won’t be able to pay for since I had to get a second job (more on that later) just to help pay for my bills?  Photography equipment is expensive.  I absolutely love photography and taking photos, but because I was only getting paid for my regular office work and was not being compensated for my equipment, I didn’t want to take those photos.

This was NOT a corporate environment!

Every day was stressful.  The mood of the office depended on whatever mood she woke up in that day.  She ran the business on the emotions of fear and anger.  She loved it when people were afraid of her.  My work wasn’t appreciated, because my style is completely different, and I also didn’t have much corporate experience in marketing.  The only experience I had was here on my blog, and well, I have full control of this and don’t have to match someone else’s style.  She also has no idea what she wants.  You could show her something one day and she would hate it, but the next day if she woke up on the right side of the bed, she loved it.

There was nothing professional about that company.  After being told every single day that I was terrible, (oh and there was a time when she told me to go fuck myself for no good reason) I started to give up.  I kind of feel like I wasted my time most days.  She had to approve every little thing, even e-newsletters that no one reads anyway.  She got upset with me because I asked her for approval on an event that I wasn’t sure if she wanted to speak at (as the freaking owner) or if she wanted me to go.  The reason I asked her about it because if she had to approve an email graphic, I thought she would need to approve that event as well.  Well she about lost her shit when I asked her for approval.  Telling me that I need to take initiative, I didn’t need her approval, and how I’m not worth the salary I negotiated.  I don’t know if I was wrong in thinking she needed to approve, but let’s just think logically for a minute.  If I have to get approval for a graphic for a newsletter (that legit no one reads, their open rate was extremely low), I would think I would need approval for an actual event.

I was also working a second part time job to be able to have enough for my health insurance, since this job didn’t offer that.  Never did I sign any contract saying that I could not have a second job.  She lost her marbles when she found out.  I was pulled into the meeting with the door being shut and I honestly thought I was getting fired right then and there.  She told me that I really needed to re-evaluate my position and my work.  What she failed to realize, is a few people had second jobs.  When a company doesn’t offer health insurance or anything but base salaries, people need to buy their own.  From the general consensus, not everyone was being paid enough to only have one job.  I know this sounds somewhat materialistic, but the owners were driving brand new Porsche’s, while the rest of the cars in the parking lot looked like they were on their last limb.  Now, I’m not saying that people have to have new cars to show that they are making a lot of money, but when EVERY car in the parking lot is on it’s last limb, that says something.

Slander of a fellow coworker.

There was a coworker who had quit one day.  I wanted to text her and see if she was ok, but I didn’t want to make her feel like I was just fishing for information.  Well, she quit in the morning, and we had a group meeting in the afternoon.  The owner had told us why the person had quit.  That’s how we found out that she has a drug addiction.  In my opinion, I found this completely inappropriate.  It is no one’s business.  That sort of discussion should stay between whoever was in the room at the time of that discussion.  Needless to say, after that meeting I heard people whispering and were trying to figure out what this person was addicted to.  I found it so sad.

How could you gossip and talk shit about something like that?  Maybe I’m a little sensitive to this only because a loved one of mine struggled with addiction and I lost quite a few people to addiction.  I waited a few days and reached out to her just to see how she was doing.  I didn’t ask her about what we had been told because it’s none of my business, and I didn’t want to add unnecessary stress to her life by telling her the drama that went on after she left.

She told me her side of the story on how her meeting went with our ex boss.  What the boss told us in the meeting is not quite how it went.  I found it disgusting that an owner of a company who I expected to be smarter than this went ahead and thought it was appropriate to tell an office that a fellow employee had a problem.  I think I’m more mad about this than how she treated me every day.  Things like that are meant to be kept confidential.  You don’t have to tell us why the person left.  All you have to say is unfortunately so and so is no longer with the company and here is the game plan on what we are going to do until either her position is filled, or until we can figure out how to balance her work between all of the other employees.

My fiance noticed a negative change in me, especially towards the last few weeks.

It wasn’t until she accused me of lying that I got extremely angry.  That was the day that I almost walked out and said eff this.  Two people were responsible for something in a project I was working on, and they didn’t do it up to par (even though that’s what our boss wanted), and they wouldn’t admit to it.  She accused me of screwing up the project.  I told her that I had no problem taking the fall for someone else, but for her to know I’m not lying, it’s just not in my character to throw people under the bus.  It wasn’t until I said that, that one of the people stepped forward.  The reason why I was getting accused of this is because my boss displayed favoritism.  She even said that she knew they couldn’t be lying.  That was the moment that I almost said a few choice words.  I knew that’s what she wanted, so I chose to stay calm.

However, how about instead of taking 45 minutes of someone’s time to figure out who did something wrong, why don’t you just say what you want fixed and go on with the day?  That project ended up being a completely different department’s responsibility anyway!  She had a few discussions with me prior to letting me go because she had the IT department (which was just one person by the way, who didn’t know how to set up the address book in outlook) run my browser history.  There was a lot of social media on there because duh, I work in the marketing department, so obviously I’m going to be looking on social media for inspiration, especially pinterest.  Some of it was my own personal stuff, but it’s because I can look at things that have nothing to do with the project and get inspired.  I also worked through lunch up until my last two weeks there, so I would go on my personal stuff during lunch.  Plus, the girl who worked there before me had all of her social media accounts in the browser history.  So, I thought we could go on social media to get inspiration.  She also complained about me having my email open, but it’s because some stuff I sent the other girl in the marketing department who worked remotely was through gmail since their outlook can’t handle big files.  I also had photos saved in my google photos that I wanted to use for projects.

The day she let me go, she just said “You’re free to go.”  I felt a sense of relief.  I felt like I was in jail and I was given a verdict that I would have my freedom.  If it were up to me, I probably would’ve stayed there for at least 6 months.  Just to be able to get some sort of experience under my belt.  About a month into working there I was already updating my resume and thinking of applying to other jobs.

It gets even worse.

About 30 minutes after I was let go, I received a few messages from some coworkers.  They had asked me what happened.  Not only were they in shock, but there was an email sent out to the entire company about me.  I really don’t know entirely what was in that email.  I don’t care to know, but a few people said they were worried about me so I can only imagine what that woman wrote.  What I do know, is the verbal abuse and harassment I endured for two of the longest months of my work life, is over.  Yes, I’m unemployed, but quite frankly, I’d rather be stressed about how I’m going to pay my bills, then have to take one step in that place.

Thank you for letting me go, seriously.

Ever since I was let go, my mental state has gone back to normal.  I have actually lost weight and stopped stress eating.  Her letting me go was honestly the absolute best thing ever.  I would like to thank her for letting me go and for the experience of what NOT to do in business.  I’ve been able to focus on a lot of freelance projects that are bringing me income and it’s things that I actually enjoy doing.  I’m able to do everything on my own time, and don’t have someone breathing down my neck and critiquing every single thing.

In conclusion

So, there is the story of what happened with my dream job.  This is for those who have asked and I haven’t told them the full story.  I want to give a huge shout out to my fiance and mom for dealing with me.  I’m sure they were sick and tired of hearing me talk about how much I hated it there.  That job legitimately made me question my self worth.

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Let’s move on to the linkup, shall we?

xoxo Monica

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