Monday Motivation Series: Family Can Be Toxic Too; Why Sometimes It’s Healthy To Cut Off Family Members

Photo Courtesy of MEJ Photography

As I get older, I realize that not everything is as it seems.  I realize that with family, sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water, sometimes it’s gasoline and fire.  I’m not saying that this is just about my family, but it’s about friends that I have who have cut family out of their lives.  Whether it be a parent who comes into your life whenever they feel like it and then disappear for a couple years, or family who has been there for you your whole life but just puts you down every single opportunity they can get.

Family Can be Toxic

Back when I was younger I wholeheartedly believed that family would always be there for you no matter what.  I have been very lucky that my parents have always been there for me, no matter how bad I messed up.  However, not everyone is this lucky.  Some people have had parents who were absent, whether they weren’t in their lives at all, or they were barely there because of neglect, addiction, etc.

I’ve talked about toxicity many times here on the blog, but I never talked about how family can be toxic too.  It’s never easy cutting anyone out of your life, but sometimes it has to be done.  It definitely gets much easier as you get older, because as we age, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”  Sometimes you have to be selfish and put your health first.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

At 31 years old, I don’t have time for drama.  I don’t have the energy for toxicity.  I don’t have time to waste.  Whether it be friends or family.  I have much more important things to focus on, and I want to spend my time being happy.  Living a life of drama isn’t worth it.

I have cut people out of my life.  I have forgiven all of them in my heart, but that doesn’t mean I want them back in my life.  Sometimes it’s better to let people go.  As for family, I have come to realize that just because we are blood related, does not make us family.  It’s easier for me to cut family out of my life because they are in a different country.

Communication goes both ways

When you try to make amends numerous times and the other person just won’t budge because they are too stubborn, it’s time to let them go.  At least you can sleep at night knowing that you tried, and that the ball was in their court.  When all one person does is create drama, talk about things that are none of their business and they attack you for it as if you had anything to do with it (all because the person they are upset about are the closest to you), it’s time to walk away.

Sometimes you have to let go

I always tell people to cherish the family who live close to you, because some of us (like myself) aren’t as lucky as you.  My entire family besides my parents and brother are in Poland.  However, after dealing with it myself, I do understand that sometimes we can’t cherish them.  Sometimes, we have to let them go.

Some people may say that cutting people off is immature and that you should speak with people and work things out like an adult, but when you’ve tried that numerous times, there’s nothing else you can do.  Don’t judge people, when you don’t know the full story.  You don’t know what that person has endured along the way.

xoxo Monica

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